This question is kind of vague. But I'll take a stab at it.
1) You need limits. A simple implementation will open millions of connections to the DB, which will obviously perform badly. At the very least, each connection eats MB of RAM on the DB. Even with connection pooling, each 'thread' could take a lot of RAM to record it's (incoming) state.
If your app server had a limited number of processing threads, you can use HAProxy to "pick up the phone" and buffer the request in a queue for a few seconds until there is a free thread on your app server to handle the request.
In fact, you could just use a web server like nginx to take the request and say "200 OK". Then later, a simple app reads the web log and inserts into DB. This will scale pretty well, although you probably want one thread reading the log and several threads inserting.
2) If your language has coroutines, it may be better to handle the buffering yourself. You should measure the overhead of relying on our language runtime for scheduling.
For example, if each HTTP request is 1K of headers + data, want to parse it and throw away everything but the one or two pieces of data that you actually need (i.e. the DB ID). If you rely on your language coroutines as an 'implicit' queue, it will have 1K buffers for each coroutine while they are being parsed. In some cases, it's more efficient/faster to have a finite number of workers, and manage the queue explicitly. When you have a million things to do, small overheads add up quickly, and the language runtime won't always be optimized for your app.
Also, Go will give you far better control over your memory than Node.js. (Structs are much smaller than objects. The 'overhead' for the Keys to your struct is a compile-time thing for Go, but a run-time thing for Node.js)
3) How do you know it's working? You want to be able to know exactly how you are doing. When you rely on the language co-routines, it's not easy to ask "how many threads of execution do I have and what's the oldest one?" If you make an explicit queue, those questions are much easier to ask. (Imagine a handful of workers putting stuff in the queue, and a handful of workers pulling stuff out. There is a little uncertainty around the edges, but the queue in the middle very explicitly captures your backlog. You can easily calculate things like "drain rate" and "max memory usage" which are very important to knowing how overloaded you are.)
My advice: Go with Go. Long term, Go will be a much better choice. The Go runtime is a bit immature right now, but every release is getting better. Node.js is probably slightly ahead in a few areas (maturity, size of community, libraries, etc.)
